If You Really Love Me....

Those five words have got to be the most hurtful and confusing words ever spoken. Followed closely by : " I will love you forever if you..." Especially in a relationship those phrases should never enter a single conversation. I think that people sometimes confuse desires or wants with need0. And the idea of love is often confused with lust.

I hear of women telling men...if you really love me you will marry me...if you really love me you will move in...if you really love me you will stop talking to your mother twice a week...if you really love me you will quit your job because I know you think so and so is attractive.

Men say...if you really love me you would have sex with me daily...if you really love me you would do ANYTHING I ask...if you really love me you will spend the holidays with my family, not yours...if you really love me you wouldn't ever smile at any other male.

Some of these come from insecurities. Some of them to defend against past hurts. Some of them are just plain manipulative.

The idea of love is that it is freely given and freely taken. There should be no conditions. There should be no score keeping or getting even.

People are too often blinded by what material things a person could give that the fail to consider the emotional aspects that could be missing. Or they see a flashy life style and think that they can live with out love so long as they have the notoriety of being seen. And then suddenly those five little words that can be thrwon around jokingly or be meant as the most serious of dares.

No one seems to realize that having a relationship means two people that wan to go in the same direction. If one of them veers off the path that the other thought they wanted to go than there can be no bribe or dare that should bring them back. Why do women/men want someone with them that has cheated, lied, or become lazy while in the relationship? Are we really all so desperate to just be with someone that we will settle for anyone? Even someone that we basically manipulated into being with us with those five little words? " If you really love me..."