First Sunset

First Sunset...

“Come and see the sunset with us.” Mommy says quietly so we don’t wake up my baby sister.

“Ok. What’s sunset?” I ask. I had heard all about it for a long time but didn’t know what it meant. I always went to bed before mommy went to see it.

“You’ll see.” Mommy says with a big smile.

I caught her excitement. I was finally being able to be with the adults and see something special. Mommy held out her hand and I grab it with a grin. Mommy’s hands are soft and I rub it across my face. She just smiles down at me and tugs me to walk faster.

There are big people everywhere. They are sitting on tables and chairs and on the wall that keeps the beach out there and the patio up here. My gramma is there and grandpa too. They smile and make room for me. Gramma pats her lap and I know I can sit with her. But I want to stand up. All the way up by the wall. That’s where everyone is staring and I want to be closer.

So I let go of mommy’s hand. Gramma starts to call to me but mommy says I’m fine and don’t worry. I just want to see closer and mommy knows that. I don’t like to be far away from mommy so I just keep looking back at her. She stands and smiles. I think she is pretty with all that light from the sun on her. Mommy let me come out with no shoes on. The patio is still hot on my feet but not burning like early in the day. And the sand is tickling my feet. I giggle.

“Watch sweetie.” Mommy whispers. I didn’t notice that she had come right up behind me.

I look out at the bright sun. It is getting lower and lower. It’s getting closer to the ocean. The sky is turning bright pink and purple and that other color that I always forget. But, wait.

“Gramma!” I yell. “Gramma! The sun doesn’t have a lifesaver! It’s going to drown! Grampa you got to save the sun!” I hear some people laugh. Why is it funny that the sun is going to die?

The tingly feeling of excitement is making my tummy hurt now because I am scared for the sun. Mommy squeezes my hand and I look up at her.

“It’s just the sun going to bed. It goes that way every night and comes up on the other side of the ocean. You’ll see tomorrow. The sun will be fine.” She tells me. I sorta believe her. But sometimes she tells me things will be fine and they really aren’t so I am still nervous.

Mommy takes my hand again and we go back to our room. I feel like I have been gone a long time and I was very sleepy. Mommy lies next to me in bed and I know that the sun might not come back up but it’s okay because at least my mommy is holding me in the night time.

Inspiration Wednesday

I think that there are days that everyone feels a little like a doormat. It's hard to see a purpose in life when you feel like you are a failure in so many things. I think I may have posted this sometime or somewhere before...but it never fails to remind me that I am important to God's plan even if I don't quite understand where I fit into it yet.

When some of us feel that God doesn't love us or can't use us just remember: Noah was a drunk... Abraham was too old...Isaac was a daydreamer... Jacob was a liar... Leah was ugly... Joseph was abused...Moses had a stuttering problem...Gideon was afraid...Samson had long hair and was a womanizer...Rahab was a prostitute... Jeremiah and Timothy were too young...David had an affair and was a murderer... Elijah was suicidal... Isaiah preached naked...Jonah ran from God... Naomi was a widow... Job went bankrupt...John the Baptist ate bugs... Peter denied Christ... The Disciples fell asleep while praying... Martha worried about everything.... The Samaritan woman was divorced, more than once... Zaccheus was too small... Paul was too religious... Timothy had an ulcer... and Lazarus was DEAD! We have no excuses when we think God doesn't love us and can't use us to our full potential...

If You Really Love Me....

Those five words have got to be the most hurtful and confusing words ever spoken. Followed closely by : " I will love you forever if you..." Especially in a relationship those phrases should never enter a single conversation. I think that people sometimes confuse desires or wants with need0. And the idea of love is often confused with lust.

I hear of women telling men...if you really love me you will marry me...if you really love me you will move in...if you really love me you will stop talking to your mother twice a week...if you really love me you will quit your job because I know you think so and so is attractive.

Men say...if you really love me you would have sex with me daily...if you really love me you would do ANYTHING I ask...if you really love me you will spend the holidays with my family, not yours...if you really love me you wouldn't ever smile at any other male.

Some of these come from insecurities. Some of them to defend against past hurts. Some of them are just plain manipulative.

The idea of love is that it is freely given and freely taken. There should be no conditions. There should be no score keeping or getting even.

People are too often blinded by what material things a person could give that the fail to consider the emotional aspects that could be missing. Or they see a flashy life style and think that they can live with out love so long as they have the notoriety of being seen. And then suddenly those five little words that can be thrwon around jokingly or be meant as the most serious of dares.

No one seems to realize that having a relationship means two people that wan to go in the same direction. If one of them veers off the path that the other thought they wanted to go than there can be no bribe or dare that should bring them back. Why do women/men want someone with them that has cheated, lied, or become lazy while in the relationship? Are we really all so desperate to just be with someone that we will settle for anyone? Even someone that we basically manipulated into being with us with those five little words? " If you really love me..."