No Child Support?

Child support has become a difficult subject for me. I have been in court this year several times feeling like I have to defend my child’s right to receive $200.00 dollars a month in support from her father. He states that he cannot afford to support my daughter and pay support for his other children by another mother. I argue that even a token payment would go a very long way. Just make an effort. But apparently, because I am employed full time and make a decent wage (or I used to before pay and hour cuts) he has decided that his contribution is not needed. Not needed...okay...let me break this down for him...

Health care coverage (through my job) ...57.00/week 2736.00/year
Daycare ......90.00/week 4320.00/year
Clothes (which I am going to lowball because she’s not old enough to complain about thrift store clothes) ......$400.00/year
Food ......$100.00/month 1200.00/year
Co-pays/Prescriptions ......$300.00/year
Total $8956.00 per year

Now that is just for her direct support. She is not in any activities such as dance or swimming or soccer...can’t afford them right now. Nothing having to do with factors such as school (as she is not yet in school) or maintaining a household is included. I am sure that someone can argue with how much I put down for this or that but this is just mainly estimates...I might keep track of it one day and I have a feeling it is actually more expensive than I am representing.

Now throw another spoke in the wheel. He is currently in a treatment facility for PTSD. I am not going to argue whether he has it or not or what the heck is wrong with him. Honestly, the only thing that matters to me is my daughter. I have seen that he has abandoned his daughter. He has seen her for grand total of eight hours in the last year. I have seen him in a relationship with a woman where there was constant violence on both of there parts (leading to arrests so completely verifiable, not just heresy). He continually goes back to said woman and when they break up he makes a bee line for me and his family members apologizing and saying things are going to change. This is a pattern. Not just one incident. So, we go through this every few months. He swears he’s going to be there for his daughter and his family and things are going right again.

I have been informed that if he does manage to get 100% disability for his PTSD...my daughter is entitled to none of that for child support. Well, I should say that his disability check would not be garnished. There might be a way for her to get some allotment of something. I just don’t know yet. It might be a moot point because he may not get any disability. But right now he has been out of work for 3 months...again.

At any rate, the entire journey has been frustrating to say the least. The uncertainty and inconsistency are hard for my daughter to deal with and there is just no way to know the outcome.

I think that there is a need for the law to be more vigilant when it comes to these situations. They take his license and he drives anyway. Take his tax return and he just doesn’t file. Garnish his wages and he just works under the table. He gets VA benefits and gives his daughter nothing.

So my real question has become one not for myself and what am I going to do. If I have to work three jobs I will...

It becomes the question of who is going to be accountable for the destruction of these children. It is not fair for any child to suffer because that child’s father/mother refuses to do what is necessary for the health and well being of that child.

I know that life is not always fair. And as an adult I can accept that for myself. But do not make me tell my child why we won’t have milk for cereal until Friday...We can buy fresh fruit in a couple of weeks...or no we can’t drive anywhere this weekend because gas is too expensive. That is the reality for many single moms. That is what is heartbreaking and tragic.